Friday, 8 March 2013


Why are boys so frustrating? Seriously. You make plans and then suddenly another option is open and the original plan is not confirmed any longer. I literally hate not being able to plan things ahead or have a plan of action. I need a direction to move, to work for. It's just something I've always done since I was at college. It makes me feel secure and I don't know, safe. Because I always know where I'm heading. 

My life is seriously undergoing some crazy shit right now & this had led to the possibility of my boyfriend moving in with me and my family. We did go and look at places within my local town and we could just about afford it. But he wants to move about 40 minutes away into a city so that he can work on his carer. Something, that I would not be able to afford. So the best option seems to be that if he moves in with me then we can both work on our carers (if I HOPEFULLY get into my midwifery course). It also means that we both safe quite a lot of money and would give us the option to save for a mortgage or have the chance to go on holiday or buy a new car. Whatever. But now I'm not sure if it's even going to happen, it's BUGS me. I swear to God, I hate that fact that this is so wishy-washy. Men are never able to commit. The main thing that is putting everything up in the air is the fact that he doesn't drive, but that was his choice. He's now trying to learn how to drive within a few months so that he can move out when we both can get the time off work. Time is limited because his sister is pregnant and is due May and he wants to be out before then. 

I feel out of control and I feel, I don't know, that it makes me anxious. I don't know. Hopefully it will get sorted. 

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