I am feeling much better these days. Can honestly say I feel like I've moved on from the all negativity and definitely trying to become a more positive person. They say it's all about perspective and here's to me changing that.
Jamie and I have become official.. The date was the 5th of August 2012 and I think I've fallen in love with him. He just makes me so happy on a really subtle level. I feel like I can be me and I don't need to worry. I just feel content and contected to him on a level I've never known before. The other night we just sat and cuddled and watched TV and I was just.. relaxed. So relaxed. I have never felt like this before. I'm not insecure, I'm not worried.. Its the first time I've not been uptight either. I do worry that sometimes I'm going to be emotional for him and I sometimes get scared of the risk of getting hurt, but I just feel like this is really worth it.
I really feel like I'm taking control of my life. I restarted my university application today to become a midwife. To be honest it wasn't a lot of work as my application from before was still about. I juts had to update it. I really hope because of the job I do, that it will give me the edge I need to get in. It's so hard to become a midwife these days because so many people want to do it. So fingers tightly crossed that I at least get to the interviews this time. Then I will freak out because I will be completely out of my depth as I don't know anything they will ask me.
Money wise I'm ok. I went into my overdraft by £200 last month - EEK. Just got paid on Monday so hopefully this month I can stop spending. I've not put £400 into my savings account and although £100 of that is going onto my tattoo, I feel that I'm getting somewhere. I always knew that the first 3 months would be a case of me spending a lot to catch up with things I needed to buy. Then having my luxuries on top of that. AKA. Two expensive tattoo's (will have cost me £400) and then my high top converses (£42), but I LOVE them. This month (I say this month, I got paid yesterday), I spent £25 on some bed linen for the new bed sheets I have. I just need another 2 sets then I'm happy. I just need some more Pj's & some more tights & tops & an outfit for my dad's 60th (although potentially already have an outfit in mind) for it. I have booked in a make up artist for myself for the party & am debating if I want to get my nails painted pretty or just keep them tidy for the night. Either way, I want to really push the boat out.
The only thing I need to before now & then is to finish my midwifery application & maybe lose half a stone (?!) and I will be happy.
For now I just want this cough to die and for me to feel healthy enough to get to the gym in the first place. :)