I really regret talking to B yesterday. Not regret as such.. But I feel so miserable because of it. I know I needed to hear what he had to say but that hasn't made hearing it that much easier. Basically I think he's let me go & he's moved on. He's not interested in seeing me or hearing from me, but he can't say that. He doesn't want to have to deal with my problems because he doesn't want the responsibility. He's not my boyfriend anymore, he's my ex. I feel like we broke up yesterday when we weren't even together. Because I feel that he's just gone.

It's my fault that he's gone. I ran to him & I shouldn't have. I should've kept it light & fun. I just keep thinking that I want to see him and have sex with him & just have fun. But I can't do that anymore. fuckfuckfuck. He's probably already got a new girl for Valentine's day. I've just got to let it go. LET IT GO. I just want to move on now without him. For my own sanity.