I still feel utterly miserable. Nothing I do is shifting it. It's like this really heavy feeling over my heart and chest.. No matter what I do it's still there. I feel so low it's unreal. I'm getting pleasure from nothing, pleasure from no where. I just feel so lost and I don't know which way to turn. I wish..

I say I wish and I see his face. this is not where I'm meant to be. I don't want him in my head. I know I need more, but I can't see anyone else's. I think a part of me is panicking because I can't see the end of this, I can't see this changing. I hate it. I hate it. This constant misery and now I don't have any one to at least cuddle at least have some sort of physical contact with. Its sometime's hard to breathe because it weighs me down so much. I really just, hate it.

Please something change. Please, some-one help it all change.