In crying so hard in bed. Because I feel so utterly miserable. The thought of going on like this just makes it worse. Talking to B and have him say he doesn't want me to depend on him and for him to say he cares as a friend has hit me. I've also realised that I'm finding faults with others because I really want him. How have I done this to myself? How have I got myself into this mess?

I just want to be happy and have some else make me happy too. And right now a strong part of me wants it to e him. So upset and lonely :(