I find it really hard to be in my bedroom right now. It's like I've gone through a break up right now. Every time I go into my bedroom it's like I'm hit with loneliness and lays itself across my chest with a grip hold. My brain keeps popping up images of me and b together. Just no reason at all. I think I've accepted that a part of me still love him and the thought of us.

But, I just miss being held. It was a mistake having him stay at mine if this is how I feel now. I don't really know what to do about it or how to make it go away. Because every time I walk into my room I feel him holding me. I do think that a part of this is because I miss being held rather than him. this is not how I'm meant to be right now. Why do I always feel this way!? I don't even understand this heartache.

I don't need it or want it. Just want it to go.